About This Series
This article is part of What Slows Us Down, a four-part series unpacking the real barriers that keep women, mothers, and families running on empty. From time poverty and outdated systems to the pressure to "do it all," we're breaking it down one honest conversation at a time.
Internalised Pressure (To Do It All)
Are we our own worst enemy?
I’ve been there, holding work calls from the car on a Tuesday night while my son kicked goals at soccer practice (I talk about this more in Issue 12 of my No Filter Series - 'The Car Is My Office (And My Therapy Space).
Sometimes “doing it all” means being everywhere at once, even if it’s messy and you’re eating dinner out of a Tupperware container while nodding through a Zoom.
We talk about the pressure that comes from work, family, and expectations, but often the loudest voice pushing us to keep going is the one inside our own heads.
When the Pressure Comes From Within
That little inner voice? She’s persistent.
She tells us to say yes when we’re already stretched.
She tells us everyone else is coping better.
She tells us rest is lazy, delegation is weakness, and asking for help is admitting defeat.
And wow, she can be loud.
The problem is, she sounds convincing, because she’s using our own voice.
We’re so conditioned to measure our worth by what we do that slowing down feels wrong, even when we’re running on fumes.
The Myth of “Doing It All”
Let’s be real. “Doing it all” is a trap. It’s a phrase invented by people who clearly had more sleep and less laundry.
Behind every “she has it all together” moment is usually someone spinning twenty plates and hoping at least two don’t crash before bedtime.
We post the highlights but live the chaos. And that’s okay, messy doesn’t mean failing. It means human.
Maybe the goal isn’t balance or perfection but permission. Permission to drop a ball and not apologise for it. Permission to rest without guilt. Permission to choose you sometimes.
Turning Down the Volume
We can’t always silence that voice, but we can turn her volume down.
We can start catching the “shoulds” before they spiral.
We can start saying, “Actually, no, not today.”
And when the guilt creeps in, we can remind ourselves that our kids don’t need a superhuman.
They need a parent who’s present, not perfect.
We don’t need to do it all. We just need to do what matters.
✨ Mini Challenge: Say No (and Mean It)
This week, say no to one thing that doesn’t serve you, and don’t explain why.
👉 Skip an unnecessary meeting.
👉 Say no to the “extra” you didn’t volunteer for.
👉 Leave the dishes and watch a show guilt-free.
Notice how it feels to say no and mean it. That little act of rebellion? That’s you reclaiming your energy.
❓What’s one way you remind yourself it’s okay not to do it all?
💡 Read the full What Slows Us Down Series:
- Part 1: Time Poverty Is Real
- Part 2: Systems Not Built For Us
- Part 3: Internalised Pressure (To Do It All)
- Part 4: Building A New Way Together - drops 17 Dec 2025
0 comments