Because sometimes “Mum, can we have a private chat?” is the most important meeting of your week.
Presence is the language our kids understand long before words.
- The Mama Assembly™
Welcome back to No Filter Fridays — the space where we drop the glossy filters and talk about the messy truth of leadership, work, and motherhood.
I went away for a month and came home to taller kids, messier cupboards, and a hundred untold stories.
We spoke every day while I was away, sometimes separately, sometimes together, sometimes more than once. And still, when I got back, they had so much to say.
I think they just wanted me.
My daughter will sometimes say, “Mummy, can we have a private chat?” and we’ll head to my bedroom, just the two of us.
Half the time she forgets what she wanted to say, so we have a cuddle and end up talking about whatever comes up instead.
That simple phrase, “Can we have a private chat?”, has become my cue to stop.
To put down whatever I’m doing, find somewhere quiet, and just listen.
They rarely want advice.
They just want to share something that’s been sitting on their minds, waiting for the right moment and the right person.
Coming back from time away has been an adjustment for all of us.
There’s guilt for missing milestones, fatigue from catching up, and that quiet need to re-sync the rhythm of our days.
So I’ve been blocking time differently, not in Outlook but in life.
Phones down. TVs off. Total presence.
No multitasking. No half-listening. Just being all in, even for ten minutes.
And it’s incredible how much changes when you do.
Their stories flow. Their energy softens. They stop testing and start trusting again.
Because kids don’t always need a crowd. Sometimes they just need their person.
I used to think connection came from quantity, being there for dinner, school drop-off, bedtime. But it’s not the hours that matter; it’s the quality of attention. Ten minutes of genuine presence beats two hours of distracted togetherness.
And that’s not just about us. It’s what it teaches them.
That they’re important enough for our full attention.
That they can come to us with anything, big or small.
That their thoughts and feelings have space in our world, even when our worlds are busy.
Because when we make time for those quiet one-on-one moments, we’re not just listening. We’re showing them what love, safety, and emotional connection look like.
We’re teaching them how to communicate, how to be seen, and how to show up for others too.
Presence takes effort, but it also takes love, the kind that pauses mid-task, mid-scroll, mid-chaos, just to say, I’m here.
💭 Mama Insight:
Connection doesn’t happen in the chaos. It happens in the quiet moments we choose to make space for.
If this hit home, share it with another mum who needs the reminder that presence matters more than perfection.
☕Gill Townsend
Writer, mum, and chronic re-scheduler of “private chats.”
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