The Guilt Is Real
“Are you going back full-time?”
“Who’s looking after the baby?”
“Won’t you miss them?”
If you’ve had a baby and returned to work, you’ve probably heard these questions (and more). Sometimes they come from genuine curiosity, sometimes from judgment, and sometimes from that inner voice that won’t quit.
Here’s the truth:
The guilt is real.
And it doesn’t mean you’re doing motherhood wrong — it means you care.
Why the Guilt Hits So Hard
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Biology is loud. Your body just spent months keeping this tiny human alive. Walking away from them — even for a workday — feels unnatural at first.
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Society piles it on. “Good mums stay home.” “Good mums provide.” Whichever path you take, someone will tell you it’s the wrong one.
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Comparison is brutal. You’ll see another mum smashing it at home, another smashing it at work, and wonder why you can’t do both perfectly.
The Other Side No One Talks About
Most mums expect to walk back into the office, log in, and just slot back in.
But here’s what so many women have shared:
➡️ It took them 6–9 months to feel fully back in the saddle.
➡️ To feel clearer headed.
➡️ To stop second-guessing themselves at work.
And yet, the pressure we put on ourselves in those first weeks back is enormous.
We expect instant clarity, instant confidence, instant “normal.”
The reality? It takes time. And that doesn’t mean you’re behind — it means you’re human.
“It takes 9 months to grow a baby. Give yourself just as much grace to grow back into work.” - The Mama Assembly™
Why You’re Still a Damn Good Mum
Because showing up for your career doesn’t cancel out showing up for your child.
Because your little one benefits from seeing you chase goals, solve problems, and use your brain outside of nappies and meal prep.
Because providing — emotionally, financially, practically — comes in many forms.
And because guilt isn’t a sign you’re failing. It’s proof you care enough to weigh every choice.
What Helps Ease the Guilt (and the Pressure)
✔️ Redefine “quality time.” It’s not about hours; it’s about presence. Ten minutes of undistracted play beats an hour half-scrolling, half-listening.
✔️ Drop the myth of “balance.” Some weeks work wins. Some weeks family wins. That’s not failure — that’s reality.
✔️ Give yourself a runway. Don’t expect day one back to feel seamless. Allow 6–9 months to settle — and treat every small win as proof you’re rebuilding your rhythm.
✔️ Practice saying yes and no. Balance isn’t about doing it all — it’s about knowing what deserves your “yes” and what deserves a firm “no.”
(Need a daily reminder? Check out my Yes/No mugs from The Mama Assembly — a cheeky way to practice balance with every sip.)
✔️ Build your village. Childcare, family, friends, after-school care. Asking for help isn’t weakness, it’s survival.
✔️ Remember the long game. Today’s daycare drop-off tears won’t define their childhood. They’ll remember a mum who loved them and also herself.
The Messy Truth
Returning to work after a baby is layered with love, fear, guilt, and pride.
You’ll cry in the car some mornings.
You’ll smash a meeting and then feel crushed missing bedtime.
You’ll wonder if you’re getting it all wrong.
But your kids don’t need “perfect.”
They need you.
And they’ve got a damn good mum.
💬 Mums who’ve returned to work — how long did it take you to feel “back in the swing of things”? Share your story in the comments.
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