Welcome to The Mental Load Series, a four-part deep dive into the invisible work that keeps our homes (and our sanity) running.
It’s for every mum who’s ever tried to remember a birthday, pack a lunch, send an email, and stay vaguely hydrated, all before 9am.
This series isn’t about guilt. It’s about getting real.
About naming the weight we carry, understanding why it’s so hard to set it down, and finding ways to share it before we break under it.
Because motherhood isn’t just physical labour, it’s emotional project management with a never-ending task list.
Let’s start with what the mental load actually is, and why so many of us feel like we’re one forgotten permission slip away from a full system crash.
What Is the Mental Load, Really?
Ever feel like your brain’s running 87 tabs and the only one playing music is the one you can’t find?
Welcome to the mental load, my friend, that invisible weight of planning, remembering, and managing literally everything that keeps the household standing, fed, and occasionally wearing matching socks.
The term mental load popped up years ago in conversations about invisible labour, the behind-the-scenes stuff that makes life work but never makes the to-do list. It’s the emotional logistics, the constant “just thinking ahead,” and the secret knowledge of which kid hates blueberries this week.
It’s not just remembering there’s a birthday party.
It’s buying the gift, wrapping it, writing the card, RSVPing, sorting the costume, and figuring out how to get there… all while replying to school emails, juggling work calls, and wondering if the kids have had too much screen time (spoiler: yes).
Even when I was working full-time, my husband handled a lot of the day-to-day.
But I still carried the calendar.
The family comms.
The birthday presents.
The emotional temperature of the house, and whether everyone had enough fruit in their lunchboxes to avoid judgment from the tuckshop gods.
That’s the mental load.
It’s the project management of family life, minus the salary and annual leave.
And it’s heavier than ever. Because now we’ve got apps for everything, meal planning, homework tracking, even remembering to breathe, and yet our brains are still the ones running it all.
When we say we need a break, we don’t just mean a nap.
We mean a full-system reboot. The kind with no notifications, no snack requests, and no one asking where their other shoe went.
The invisible work doesn’t clock off when you do. It follows you into the shower, the supermarket, and the one quiet minute you finally get, only for your brain to whisper, “you forgot to defrost the chicken.”
So here’s the thing: naming it doesn’t make it magically disappear, but it gives it shape.
It turns “I’m just tired” into “I’m carrying a whole family’s mental load, and I need backup.”
And that’s where change starts, with a bit of language, a bit of honesty, and maybe a very large coffee.
💬 What’s rattling around in your brain right now?
Share three things you’re carrying today, let’s name it, share it, and lighten it together.
💡 Read the full Mental Load Series:
- Part 1 – What Is the Mental Load, Really?
- Part 2 – Why Is It So Hard to Let Go?
- Part 3 – How Do We Lighten the Mental Load Without Dropping the Ball?
- Part 4 – Motherhood Isn’t About Perfection
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