The Mental Load Series. Part 3 – How do we lighten the mental load without dropping the ball?

September 17, 2025|Gill Townsend

This post is part of The Mental Load Series, a four-part look at the invisible work that keeps families running (and mums running on caffeine).

Our brains are basically running the family operating system.

Constant background tasks, updates, notifications, and the occasional crash right before dinner.

We’re the ones remembering who needs new shoes, who’s allergic to what, and which week the bins go out.

And we do it so automatically that half the time, no one even notices it’s happening.

So, how do we lighten the mental load without dropping the ball?

It starts with this: stop pretending “help” is the same as “ownership.”

Because when someone asks what they can do, it still means you’re the one managing the list.

Real change happens when other people take responsibility from start to finish, not just when they’re asked.

It’s the difference between “Can you cook dinner tonight?” and “You’re in charge of all dinners this week.”

And yes, that might mean they forget an ingredient, or the kids get pasta four nights in a row, but that’s fine.

Perfection isn’t the goal, peace is.

Then, automate what you can.

Set reminders, use lists, use apps, outsource small stuff if it saves your sanity.

The more you get out of your head and into a system, the lighter everything feels.

And maybe most importantly: delete what doesn’t matter.

If it’s not essential to your health, happiness, or the survival of small humans, it’s optional.

Some balls can drop. Some will roll under the couch. Some don’t even belong to you anymore.

The mental load doesn’t get lighter overnight, but it does get easier when it’s visible, shared, and talked about.

Because once you stop carrying it alone, you realise just how heavy it really was.

Share your thoughts or tag someone who needs to read this.

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