This post is part of The Mama Assembly’s “Motherhood & Identity” mini series. exploring how we rediscover who we are beyond “Mum.”
Making Room for You (Without Guilt)
You can be a great mum and still say no to the bake sale.
You can love your kids deeply and still crave time alone.
You can care for everyone else and still protect an hour that’s just yours.
Because self-care isn’t selfish. It’s survival.
Somewhere along the way, we confused “being available” with “being valuable.” We learnt to measure our worth by how much we could stretch ourselves — how many boxes we could tick before collapsing into bed.
But here’s the truth: constantly giving doesn’t make you a better mum. It just makes you an exhausted one.
Redefining What “Time for Yourself” Means
When we think of self-care, we often imagine bubble baths and scented candles. Lovely, yes. But not enough.
Making room for yourself means creating space for your own thoughts, goals, and joy — the kind that doesn’t depend on anyone else’s schedule.
It’s taking a solo walk without feeling guilty.
It’s leaving the house without explaining why.
It’s saying no to something you don’t have the energy for, and not apologising later.
The world won’t crumble if you step away for a bit. In fact, it usually keeps spinning just fine.
The Guilt Trap
Mum guilt has a sneaky way of showing up the moment you put yourself first. It whispers that your family needs you every second, that saying no is selfish, that rest is indulgent.
But guilt isn’t a moral compass. It’s a habit — one built from years of putting everyone else ahead of yourself.
You don’t owe the world constant access to your time and energy.
You just owe yourself the same care and attention you give everyone else.
When you fill your own cup, you don’t take away from your family — you bring more patience, creativity, and calm back to them.
Making Room in Real Life
Start small.
Ask yourself, Where can I create five minutes of breathing space today?
Maybe it’s a quiet coffee before the house wakes up.
Maybe it’s listening to your favourite podcast in the car instead of the news.
Maybe it’s choosing not to fill every blank space in your calendar.
The point isn’t to find time — it’s to make it.
Because every minute you spend reconnecting with yourself is an investment in everyone you love.
“You don’t need to earn rest. You just need to remember you deserve it.” - The Mama Assembly
☕ Try This Week
Choose one thing you usually do out of guilt and skip it, guilt-free.
Use that time for something that genuinely restores you, even if it’s just sitting in peace with a hot drink.
Notice how it feels to put yourself on the list, not at the bottom of it.
💬 Join the Conversation
What’s one small way you’re making space for yourself this week?
Share your ideas, your spark might be the one another mama needs.
🌸 Read Next in the Motherhood & Identity Series
- Part 1 → Who Was I Before “Mum”?
- Part 2 → Why "balance" might be a lie
- Part 3 → The Invisible Load No One Talks About
- Part 4 → Making Room for You (Without Guilt)
0 comments