About This Series
This article is part of What Slows Us Down, a four-part series unpacking the real barriers that keep women, mothers, and families running on empty. From time poverty and outdated systems to the pressure to "do it all," we're breaking it down one honest conversation at a time.
Systems Not Built For Us
You know that feeling when you're trying to squeeze a full life into a system clearly designed by someone who has never done school drop-off, made dinner, and answered a work email all before 8am?
Yeah. That.
Most of the systems we move through, work, school, healthcare, even the "support" services meant to help us, weren't built with women or families in mind. They were built for a world that doesn't really exist anymore.
The System Isn't Broken. It Was Just Never Built for Us
The nine-to-five workday was created when one person worked and the other stayed home. School hours still match that model. Childcare costs rival mortgages. And trying to book a medical appointment outside work hours? Good luck.
We keep trying to fit our modern lives into outdated moulds, then wonder why it feels like we're failing. We're not failing. The framework is.
We patch, plan, and push through, creating workarounds that make us look "efficient" on the outside while we're quietly burning out on the inside.
Invisible Barriers, Visible Exhaustion
It's not just logistics. It's the tiny, invisible expectations that pile up.
The guilt for leaving early. The pressure to look "professional" on two hours of sleep. The meetings scheduled right at school pick-up time.
And don't even get me started on "bring-a-plate" days that magically appear midweek. (Because obviously, we all have spare time to bake a quiche between Teams calls.)
We call it the juggle like it's a circus act, which feels pretty accurate when you think about it. Half the time we're balancing flaming torches while riding a unicycle uphill.
When the System Doesn't Flex, We Do
So what do we do? We flex. We stretch. We work late. We multitask until our brains feel like browser tabs on overload.
We're told to "lean in," but honestly, maybe the system could lean out a little and give us room to breathe.
Real change doesn't come from another hack or colour-coded calendar. It comes from redesigning the structures around us to fit real lives, not perfect ones.
Until then, we make micro changes. We push back. We build community around the gaps. And we remind each other that rest isn't weakness, it's rebellion.
✨ Mini Challenge: Bend the Rules (Just a Bit)
This week, give yourself permission to break one small "rule" that doesn't serve you.
👉 Skip a meeting that could have been an email.
👉 Move a task to next week, guilt-free.
👉 Ask for flexibility instead of apologising for needing it.
See what happens when you stop squeezing yourself into a system that was never built for you.
And tell me, what rule did you quietly rewrite this week?
❓What’s one change you’d love to see in your workplace or community that would help you thrive?
💡 Read the full What Slows Us Down Series:
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Part 2: Systems Not Built For Us
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Part 3: Internalised Pressure (To Do It All) - drops 10 Dec 2025
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Part 4: Building A New Way Together - drops 17 Dec 2025
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